You’re now in charge of writing the messages in fortune cookies. Tell us our fortunes.

I saw this prompt and it reminded me of the lame assignments I got in creative writing. I have some time to kill so fuck it.


“You’re as lovely as a harvest moon. God I hope you know what that is.”


“Stop borrowing money.”


“You’re like, pretty and shit.”


“You’re jokes are so funny that other people steal them.”


“Madonna has all the money in the world, but she’ll always be a fake old bitch.”


“Your teeth aren’t as bad as you think you are.”


“Your iPod has the best music on it.”


“You’re right, she’s a complete bitch.”


“Only suckers tie their shoes.”


“It’s okay to jaywalk.”


“Ice cream will make it allllllll better.”




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